Showing posts with label s-sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label s-sad. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

LIFE LESSON #1 - of money, choice and responsibility

Posted by shonitay at 5/08/2013 03:06:00 PM 0 comments
ohiyo!! i am back from my not very long vacation to Hokkaido


i was about to start to blog about the trip but something came up
and i decide to postpone that just because i have no mood! 

i am going to write this down because i have spent one sleepless night and few depressingly stressful days to find a closure to my problem...
and i want this to be a LIFE LESSON for me because i realise i am pretty much not exposed in monetary issues like this and to face the solution for it
frog in the well kind of situation

everytime after a trip, reality start to kick back in...payments have to be made and especially those spent on the trip..
when we go for trips with friends/famiies it would be inevitable to have common spending
or in my specific case this time, was payment on behalf.

in my specific case, what happened was Kelly's (gonna call her K from now on) husband told me at the airport to take care of his wife as this is the first time she is going overseas for trip and he gave a budget of RM3k for her expenses..

well, merrily-happy-excited-for-the-trip me noted and agreed. and so the rest of the trip was all well and good... though we spent off all our cash in hand and i had to think of ways to find more cash....got it and swipe some on my magic card!

back home, back to reality... after reconciliation with magic card bank and also other fellow tour friends, time to pay back debts had arrived. i calculated everything nicely,got all information and informed K about the amount that needed to be paid. The response i got from K was -------------silent---------------------

so then i sent the details Pingu and told him to claim from K's husband the money for me. K's husband did briefly spoke to me that he has no money to pay me. i honestly thought it was kind of like a joke and took it lightly.

until one fine morning, K's father in law called me.. and asked how much did she owe me. He told me that he will pay for all her additional expenses and mine too! i objected and refused to accept the offer of course! how can one old man pay for our own additional expenses???

the fact that it is additional is a CHOICE. i can opt to not spend any extra but i chose to because i have made the decision that i will be responsible for the amount spent. K CHOSE to spend extra because her husband said he gave her additional RM3k to spend.

then it dawned to me that K's husband was not joking after all. he had no money to pay and intend to just leave it as it is. i was like FUCK! what is this attitude? what kind of mentality is this? this is not how somebody whom i actually regarded as 'family' treat each other! ALL LIES and trying to take advantage of my kind heart!!! BLOODY FUCK no wonder K was silent.

i was also angry with K. BLOODY HELL you fucking spent happily like a rich bitch and now when it is payback time, u keep quiet? act like nothing had happened? what?? think that money will drop down from the sky? HUH! shouldn't you as a WIFE should be responsible to claim money back from your beloved husband the money to pay me back???

HELLO!!! however much your husband owe you does not mean the whole world owes you too! fucking please realize that I AM NOT YOUR FAMILY or anything that you may think i could be related to you that made you think that you could take advantage of me! if your STUPID husband is not able to pay for your spending, you should know it. CONTROL YOURSELF LAH BITCH! and even so, after that you should bear the responsibility of your own spending. you should go ask the old man for money and pay me. NOT FUCKING JUST TREAT LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED and the old man had to call me and take responsibility of your actions!

Fine! Lesson to learn. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE... however much i may agree, i am still going to reserve some trust for my own family and close friends. People i know that will stick to you through thick and thin and most importantly, RESPONSIBLE for their own actions.

strangers, not so close friends, and others (especially K and husband) shall not be trusted anymore and should they ever ever need me to pay for them or lend them any money... well, i would say that the request had to go through many levels of decision and will be questioned thoroughly and to be honest, i think would unlikely pass through the first few levels of decision making. u see, one of the levels will question their INTEGRITY and so i guess K's and husband does not have any and their names have been BLACKLISTED dy. 

FTL



Wednesday, June 8, 2011

let it be

Posted by shonitay at 6/08/2011 08:46:00 AM 1 comments

These days I've been thinking a lot and feeling downward yo-yo of my 'emo'ness.

One thing for sure to be blamed is my hormones. The other major one is of what I do every day. I am so sorry to myself to have to admit that I am back to the stage where I delayed waking up as late as I can… people close to me, who have stayed with me for some time would know what it means! Hah! Why am I going through this again? Nothing so fun to go through stages like this!

I will have to learn a lesson actually. I knew, at that moment, deep inside me, that I didn't feel comfortable when I had to nod my head. *Slaps self! I should've followed my instincts! Silly girl! But due to many considerations, and the many 'no's I said, I couldn't afford to wait any longer. I just had to nod, telling myself that 'this is the right decision' and secretly praying hard that things could turn out well.

Big lesson learnt. Next time, I hope I could insist to follow what my heart says so. But next time would not be so near yet as I have responsibilities to bear. Until then, I guess I would have to just hang on and pray that I could survive the ordeal. ~~~I will survive~~~ *ganbate!

I believe I could do it. I've been finding ways to keep myself calm, balance out the unstableness in me, be happy and telling myself, "everything's gonna be allright!". Actually I am not so sure after all. Off and on, something keeps telling me to give up but logical reasoning stopped me. Torn in between two options, I found it very very difficult to hold on to the 'happy' card.

So I told myself. Life is a journey, full of hurdles and potholes. I am allowed to curse and swear the person who built the road, but no one prevented me to enjoy the beautiful nature I see along the way. To survive this ordeal, I just had to change my focus. Instead of focusing on the potholes and badly managed place, it's my choice to enjoy the beautiful nature and the wonderful people around me!! Fuck those potholes and evil spirits around me who try to make my life as miserable as it can be for their own enjoyment! Karma is a bitch! It will come back to visit those who made people's life miserable!

I hope by telling myself this it will make me feel muchhhhhh better….. Although in actual fact, I will pray for karma not to make other people life miserable just because I said so. Them making mine miserable does not mean that I want to make theirs miserable as well (accumulating good karma for my next generation). I would rather just let it be. It's their life and I just want nothing to do with them as much as I can. I would be most grateful for that.

Let it be..let it be…let it be…. let it be….

Monday, June 6, 2011

signs....are they?

Posted by shonitay at 6/06/2011 10:47:00 AM 1 comments
IS THAT A SIGN?

is the PC telling me something??



can't see it? let me make it clearer for you



Better now???? in case you still cannot see... i know you'll love this!!!



even the pc says that to me!!!!!!
FML!!!
@.@

 

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