at the end of the rainbow

i dont know what to blog about

i am sick of my life now
i hate where my life is at
i hate what i do
i hate to know what i cannot do
i hate to feel that i loathe what i used to love
i hate to give up so easily
i hate to realise that i feel i am always so negative
i hate to realise that i do not have a dream
i hate to know the fact that i cant go far without dreaming
i hate to know that i hate so many things about myself

my mind is in complete mess
my life is a mess
I AM A TOTAL MESS
why am i having this kind of shitty feelings lately?

God was kind...
admist all the total crap and black and whites
He let me have some colour in my life

i have plenty of reason to smile...
to learn to look at the brighter side of life
to appreciate what i have now
to realise that i actually have some dreams..
only that i never identified it!
and to learn to face all the crap that i hate

thank you to all that bring me sunshine and colour to my life...
you all meant the world to me!